believe in something better
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: learning how to be vulnerable in front of others legitimately turned my life around. I could not recommend it enough. Yet, let me tell you that it’s not a walk in the park. Like everything else worthwhile in life, it comes at a price. You know, terms and conditions apply.
Continue reading “Prickly bits”
It all started with a paper I had to write for my diploma in CBT and groupwork, back in January: on attachment theory and human development. Naturally, I got completely hooked. Finding possible (yet never final) answers to my never-ending questions is a rewarding processes – even if at times emotionally exhausting. Algorithm quickly picked up on my new searches (attachment, human development) and connected them with the old ones (trauma, complex ptsd, therapy) – that’s how Gabor Mate started showing up in my feed on regular basis.
Continue reading “The impossible choice”
I have been called cynical and pessimistic many times in my life. Ironically, I have also been called naïve and idealistic many times in my life. And I can bet you anything that I’ll keep being labelled both ways by different people at various points, and on every single occasion, it will say much more about them, than it ever says about me.
Sure, sometimes I do see myself as quite naïve. I definitely strive to see best in people (and life in general), and it occasionally (like now) does bite my arse, rather badly. But I still think it’s better that way, even though the bumpy road to this conclusion was nowhere near easy. As the time went on and my self-awareness kept expanding, I’ve learnt to stop giving myself so much shit for that innate “idealism”. I grew to appreciate and hone it instead. Guard it like my biggest treasure.
Continue reading “Dreamy Ania”
As the New Year draws in and internet is exploding with all the “New Year, new me” kind of advice, I remind myself of a conclusion I came to last year: this isn’t the time for new starts. Dates are just a way of measuring time passed: they’re useful to keep track of things, that’s all. If the end of the year should be for anything at all, that would be it: reflecting back, not planning ahead.
I stopped counting on fresh starts a while ago anyway, and I think you should too.
You could easily raise your eyebrow now and confront me about this: not counting on fresh starts!? And who moved away from Poland three times, and eventually build their life from scratch in Scotland!? Damn right, you are! I definitely did count on fresh starts for quite a while. I’m not arguing their existence or occasional usefulness. But I think it’s worth noting that they could also become a quite dangerous habit: a fancier way of avoiding confrontation.
Precisely because I once was an eager advocate for fresh starts, now I’m very cautious about them.
Continue reading “Stop counting on fresh starts”
dreamyania 